In Parshat Vayishlach, we meet Jacob in a moment of great anxiety and trepidation. Having been exiled from Canaan to escape Esav’s blood-thirsty wrath decades prior, Jacob now prepares to confront his brother face to face. After hours of readying himself and his family for battle, Jacob is left alone with his fear. In this vulnerable and dark moment, Jacob encounters a mysterious figure who leaves him forever changed:
Jacob was left alone. And a figure wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he wrenched Jacob’s hip at its socket, so that the socket of his hip was strained as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for dawn is breaking.” But he answered, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me (Genesis 32:25-27).
The language of being “left alone,” and a figure “wrestling with him,” imply a passive experience for Jacob. He did not initiate this wrestling match, rather the mysterious figure attacked him in a vulnerable moment. While the beginning of this encounter describes something being done to Jacob, we see him asserting agency as he bravely engages in the struggle and does not let his opponent prevail. By the end of the encounter, Jacob even chooses to linger in the struggle and insists on receiving a blessing from the mysterious figure. In these three verses, Jacob goes from being the subject of others actions—being left alone and wrestled with–to strongly advocating for himself—“I will not let you go unless you bless me!” Instead of fleeing to safety at the soonest possible moment, Jacob insists on being blessed by the source of his wounding!
The mysterious figure grants Jacob’s request and bestows a blessing in the form of a name change. “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with beings divine and human, and have prevailed” (Genesis 32:28-29). This blessing empowers Jacob to incorporate his struggles and strength into his self-concept and reputation. His new name, Israel, is a charge to integrate both his trauma and resilience into his identity.
It is quite common for people to bury parts of themselves that are sources of pain and struggle. Dr. Richard Schwartz, creator of the Internal Family Systems therapeutic approach, calls these “exiled parts” that carry the heavy weight of memories, shame, and pain from traumatic experiences. Within a proper framework, compassionately acknowledging these exiled parts can release their burdensome load and allow them to take a right-sized place in one’s self-concept. Similarly, Jacob’s name change to Israel indicates a call towards an expansive understanding of self that can simultaneously hold his struggles and his strength.
We see Jacob implementing this call towards integration when he names the place he is in Peniel and proclaims, “I have seen a divine being panim el panim—face to face—yet my life has been preserved!” (Genesis 32:31). Rabbi David Kimchi (1160-1235, Provence) explains that “Jacob is marveling at having survived such an experience, one in which he was totally involved, body and soul.” He is declaring that this particular encounter was so intense that it threatened his physical and spiritual wellbeing and he survived to tell the tale. Trauma survivors are often left speechless in the aftermath of their wounding. Jacob putting words to his struggle is a first step towards integrating this traumatic memory into his personal narrative and identity.
As Jacob limps forward under the healing light of sunrise, we are left to wonder: How were his body and soul affected by this experience? What are his next steps towards recovery and integration? How will he fully grow into Israel, one who experiences physical and spiritual struggle and prevails? What does it even mean to “prevail” over difficult encounters?
Dr. Rita Nakashima Brock, Senior Vice President for Moral Injury Recovery Programs at Volunteers of America, explains that recovery from both physical and spiritual wounds require a person to learn how to live with their new reality. As wounds turn to scars, she suggests adapting tools to help a person move through the world–for example, a cane to support walking with a limp, a mindfulness meditation routine to cope with chronic stress, or connecting with peer support to alleviate the loneliness of the struggle. As Jacob becomes Israel, he will need to find the supportive tools and techniques that will help him limp forward with strength. As the descendents of Israel, so too may we find the support we need to compassionately face our struggles and nurture our strengths. May we continue becoming Israel, living out the blessing of trauma integration and resilience.
